My Happiness

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I don’t think I am a happy person. I try to smile and laugh like others do, but inside me, I don’t feel happy at all. I think it’s because I care many too much about many things. I cannot let go of them easily. I always think about the past, the people I miss, and the things that make me feel sad.

Some people can forget problems quickly and then just move on. But for me, it’s very hard since I think too much. Even when something good happens, I still start to worry. I ask myself, “What if it ends soon?” or “Did I do something wrong?” This mind set makes it hard for me to enjoy life.

I see some people who look free and happy ; I want to be like them. They don’t seem to carry heavy thoughts like I do. I want to stop thinking too much and live in the present but not to worry about the past nor the future.

Right now, I am still learning; still trying to understand my feelings. I want to be a person who can be happy, even with the small things; but it is not easy. Maybe one day, I can let go of my worries and feel lighter. For now, I just want to say that it’s okay to feel this way; It’s okay not to be okay. And then that is where i will start changing my perspective.